We know that it's important for a mystic girl to do her will
completely and not care what people think. We know that suicidal
behavior is more easily understood when a person has to experience it.
We know that this is our girl. We talk to Andrea about this and she will
feel the pain. She will understand that soon we will be dealing with
somebody who is suicidal. This has been a very difficult day. Andrea will
feel the pain. She will not like feeling it. This makes her go insane.
'I
want it to be that you don't care. I don't really want to admit that
I'm the one who is suicidal and you are empathing it. I want it to be
that you're a horrible person. I want to make sure you can't come out. I
want control over the situation. I want you to be left out. I hate the
way you're attractive. I hate the way you look. I want it to be that I'm
better. I don't want people to respect you. I want to take some of the
things you wrote about and really twist them around. I don't want to
think about why they were said or where they really came from.'
These
are ideas from Monica. Monica has been upset all day. Andrea has really
hated it. Andrea is trying to put some money away. Andrea has a plan to
buy her own little home in the United States. This is where she wants to
go. We know that Andrea doesn't feel well which doesn't help her a lot.
She doesn't have much of a chance to be free of all the pain. It
interferes with her working. She needs to find a way to deal with her
emotions which are coming in as pain. It is a physical pain. It is like
an extreme amount of heat. It is a crying feeling. We need you to
understand this. Andrea has a burning pain in her heart every time you
get upset. We need you to stop getting upset because it is not helpful.
You aren't upset about the right thing. You are kind of getting in the
way of something that is really important. That is what this angel will
say. You might not believe I'm an angel. You want Andrea to be writing
about you. Andrea is very tired of having to psychically empath you. You
are very upset because you want to be part of a group. You haven't
helped it's reputation. You kind of have caused a mess. This is one
problem with bullying people. You might want it to be twisted around.
You can't do that when there is an angel involved. An angel won't let it
go on. You might be a little bit surprised that this is happening now. Andrea is my mystic. I am a source of power. I have been looking over Andrea because she is special to me. She is like my implement. She is my
precious thing. She is very revered by me and a couple other angels too.
She is very special because of things she has been through. Most people
will not know things that she has direct experience of. This is why I
am helping her.
Andrew is getting bored because he
wants it to be another girl. He has been mean to one person who he
should have been nice to. He likes to hear about him. He doesn't
treasure Andrea at all. She's not like his middle class girlfriends who
are princesses.
'I want it to be that Andrea hates
us. I want it to be us and them. I like the idea that I can cut and
divide. I like the idea of ganging up on a person. I really want to be
in power. I Have my well known friend. I think that gives me a little
bit of extra clout. I think that means I can treat people a little bit
shitty. I like twisting it around. Women are self-blaming oftentimes. I
know that if I tell them they are rotten a lot of them will go home
feeling bad. Most of them will feel rejected. They might cry a little
bit. I still get to hang out with everybody. It really works for me.'
These
are ideas of Monica's. We know that Monica is the girl who did the bit of
bullying. We need you to understand this. We want you to think about it.
We probably won't stop writing quite yet. Andrea has a fire on her
heart. We will tell you what that fire is. You might understand it as
mysticism. We know Jesus is pictured as this. It is the sacred heart.
This is what Andrea has. In ceremonial magick the heart is girt with a
serpent too. People talk about kundalini energy as a fire to be thrown
into.
Andrea was in the distillery district when
she finally caught the flame. We will tell you a little bit about this.
She was laying on a bed. She had slept in an art studio. She had a bed
in there. This might not have been liked. It was merely tolerated.
There
was a time she was resting if you were looking in. She was trying to
learn to do something. She put herself into a trance. She was on the bed
and it was an altered state. She can get into this state quite easily
because she has worked on it a lot. Some of you might know how to do
this if you are mystically inclined. Some people call it scrying. Andrea
would gaze behind her eyes. You stare at the back of your eyelids while
your eyes are closed. This will put you in an unusual state if you do it
often enough.
