24 May 2014 at 17:19

We know that it's important for a mystic girl to do her will completely and not care what people think. We know that suicidal behavior is more easily understood when a person has to experience it. We know that this is our girl. We talk to Andrea about this and she will feel the pain. She will understand that soon we will be dealing with somebody who is suicidal. This has been a very difficult day. Andrea will feel the pain. She will not like feeling it. This makes her go insane.

'I want it to be that you don't care. I don't really want to admit that I'm the one who is suicidal and you are empathing it. I want it to be that you're a horrible person. I want to make sure you can't come out. I want control over the situation. I want you to be left out. I hate the way you're attractive. I hate the way you look. I want it to be that I'm better. I don't want people to respect you. I want to take some of the things you wrote about and really twist them around. I don't want to think about why they were said or where they really came from.'

These are ideas from Monica. Monica has been upset all day. Andrea has really hated it. Andrea is trying to put some money away. Andrea has a plan to buy her own little home in the United States. This is where she wants to go. We know that Andrea doesn't feel well which doesn't help her a lot. She doesn't have much of a chance to be free of all the pain. It interferes with her working. She needs to find a way to deal with her emotions which are coming in as pain. It is a physical pain. It is like an extreme amount of heat. It is a crying feeling. We need you to understand this. Andrea has a burning pain in her heart every time you get upset. We need you to stop getting upset because it is not helpful. You aren't upset about the right thing. You are kind of getting in the way of something that is really important. That is what this angel will say. You might not believe I'm an angel. You want Andrea to be writing about you. Andrea is very tired of having to psychically empath you. You are very upset because you want to be part of a group. You haven't helped it's reputation. You kind of have caused a mess. This is one problem with bullying people. You might want it to be twisted around. You can't do that when there is an angel involved. An angel won't let it go on. You might be a little bit surprised that this is happening now. Andrea is my mystic. I am a source of power. I have been looking over Andrea because she is special to me. She is like my implement. She is my precious thing. She is very revered by me and a couple other angels too. She is very special because of things she has been through. Most people will not know things that she has direct experience of. This is why I am helping her.

Andrew is getting bored because he wants it to be another girl. He has been mean to one person who he should have been nice to. He likes to hear about him. He doesn't treasure Andrea at all. She's not like his middle class girlfriends who are princesses.

'I want it to be that Andrea hates us. I want it to be us and them. I like the idea that I can cut and divide. I like the idea of ganging up on a person. I really want to be in power. I Have my well known friend. I think that gives me a little bit of extra clout. I think that means I can treat people a little bit shitty. I like twisting it around. Women are self-blaming oftentimes. I know that if I tell them they are rotten a lot of them will go home feeling bad. Most of them will feel rejected. They might cry a little bit. I still get to hang out with everybody. It really works for me.'

These are ideas of  Monica's. We know that Monica is the girl who did the bit of bullying. We need you to understand this. We want you to think about it. We probably won't stop writing quite yet. Andrea has a fire on her heart. We will tell you what that fire is. You might understand it as mysticism. We know Jesus is pictured as this. It is the sacred heart. This is what Andrea has. In ceremonial magick the heart is girt with a serpent too. People talk about kundalini energy as a fire to be thrown into.

Andrea was in the distillery district when she finally caught the flame. We will tell you a little bit about this. She was laying on a bed. She had slept in an art studio. She had a bed in there. This might not have been liked. It was merely tolerated.

There was a time she was resting if you were looking in. She was trying to learn to do something. She put herself into a trance. She was on the bed and it was an altered state. She can get into this state quite easily because she has worked on it a lot. Some of you might know how to do this if you are mystically inclined. Some people call it scrying. Andrea would gaze behind her eyes. You stare at the back of your eyelids while your eyes are closed. This will put you in an unusual state if you do it often enough.

8 February 2014 at 14:44

Angry people hate Andrea. This is a big problem. This is how people get killed. People get killed by people. People murder their daughters. This was a bit of a strange thing. Andrea doesn't listen to the news. This was because it was at work. The radio might have been on. There was a man who had murdered his daughter.


'Killing your daughter.' was what we had said earlier.


Andrea noticed it quite quickly and remembered what we had said. This was a bit of a prophecy and it will seem a little bit true. Many people die and many people get murdered. There was a murder the next day and it was here in Toronto. I want you to stop thinking about things that you want out of life. You want something that Andrea doesn't want and she is thinking about her ex-boyfriend. She sees his face in her mind and he is kind of annoying. She went out with him in 2009 before all of this stuff happened. This was when Andrew acted rude, but Andrea doesn't care about that. Andrew goes through many women and it would be ridiculous for him to be resentful. It was obnoxious how rude he was. It was like he was trying to make her feel guilty. He acted a little bit passive aggressive at the art show at the MOCCA. This was a big night and a lot of people were there. Andrea was there. She had made sure to come. She was going out with Harold, but still wanted to be part of an art crowd. This was an obnoxious thing. He was kind of rude.


'What was his name again?' Andrew inquired.


Andrea mentioned to Andrew that she had a boyfriend and she thought it was the polite thing to do. I don't want to admit that it was really him who was mean to Andrea. Andrea will not remember what he said before she got there. He might have said a couple of things about how annoying she was. This might not have been said. There is no way to really know. No way to know what was said before she got there. No way to know anything. There was something that happened. Somebody told Andrea that Andrew's brother pissed on them. This is somebody who is a cross-dresser, but it's a little bit more complicated than that. It would be somebody who wants to have a sex change. It would be a male who wants to be a female. This might be the person who cursed Andrea. That's what people in Philadelphia would think. That isn't really true, but you want to think about it. In the Philadelphia they said somebody had put a curse on Andrea. they did some dark magick and the gender was quite wavy. I think Andrea needs you to hate her. Well, no. She doesn't. This isn't about hating. We are going to get around to something new. This is a bit of a story and there are many missing details. Details that will make it obvious that there was more than meets the eye.


'I really don't want it to be this.'


Andrea hates that she has to sit here typing. Andrea has done some strange things and there is a chemical reaction in her stomach. Andrea has been eating some unusual foods and doing something a bit odd. She is consuming lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of fruits and vegetables. She is consuming way more than you would think that she would need. Well, to her it seems that way. She has been eating very large plates of vegetables. And she made 2 fruit smoothies today. Her body is eating all of this and it's reacting in an unusual way. Her body is expelling lots of garbage and you will not want to know this, but it's very interesting. Her body is expelling a lot of stuff. Her body is throwing out lots of crap. It's coming out of her butt and it's a bunch of toxic crap. This is because she is eliminating lots and lots of stuff. That's why we are eating massive amounts of fruits and vegetables. Her body isn't used to such a low calorie intake because carbohydrates are very high in calories. Well, they have a higher glycemic value. Andrea has not been eating very many carbohydrates. Mostly she has just been eating fruits and nuts and vegetables. Her body is really changing and she can feel it working. It is working right now and it is trying to use fat from her stomach. She can feel her stomach being pulled by something inside of her. This is something that is going on and it's funny because it's helpful. She has replaced all of her carbohydrates with vegetables. Soon we are going to eat an apple.

9 April 2014 at 13:38

It is a painful feeling to have you hurt inside. I can't get rid of you because I have your energy. I want to get you out of my life. I want you to be out of my way. It makes a difficult life for me when you go around saying these things. I feel ill at ease would be what people think. I actually think you are a threat to me because you pulled me away. You don't seem very sane. I know what Andrew is like. I know how attractive he is. He's kind of like a great big mortgage. That's how I am beginning to see this situation. Andrew is the big mortgage you took on to afford a massive house which would impress your friends. You don't know where to find the money. You will act desperately. You are robbing Peter to pay Paul. That is what I mean. You are sacrificing everything for something that shouldn't be. You don't need to pay your way into people's lives. You don't understand how it seems. You want to feel like you are part of the crowd. You act in a desperate way to ensure your place. That is the game you play. You can't really afford their lifestyle. You want to fit right in. You want to fit right in. You offer to make him dinner. You want to give him your pay cheque just so he will be around. Do you think about it and how silly it might seem?

You are waiting for your pay cheque to come at the end of the week. This suggests you have no money. It suggests that you are going to cook an elaborate meal. This for a guy who has a young girlfriend. This for a guy with a very womanizing reputation. It does come across as something stupid, but many men would probably laud. Andrea can hear them laughing about how he has all these women eating out of his hand. Monica will trot around with him everywhere he goes. He got a little young girlfriend. He's got all these women after him. Some of them throw temper tantrums. Some of them yank women.

This doesn't come off as classy. It comes across as something else. Women fighting against women instead of doing something with their lives. Women being competitive over a womanizing guy. Do you understand how stupid this looks? I practically want to die. I don't enjoy being held to this. It makes an awful mess of my life. I have lost interest in men after all of this. My mother has always talked negatively. You have gone and proved her right. That's what she will think when she reads the writing. You make all men look shitty. You make girls look even worse. You turn the art community into a competitive place which doesn't care about social issues. This gets kind of depressing. You all seem to drink too much. You don't have any values that are worth sacrificing anything for. You won't sacrifice for your values. You won't make a stand against that. You won't think about how it reflects on you. You'd rather criticize me for getting fat. I find it a little ironic that Lynda would have a bullying girl at her birthday party. That is what I call lip service to feminism.

Never sticking your neck out to say something wasn't right. probably blaming the victim for being stupid enough to open the messages. You people are very annoying. You are conventional too. You want to rob me blind of everything I could have had. You've limited me completely. You've made it harder to get a job. You've bombarded me with negative ideas which really brought me down. You have hurt me financially. You have hurt me in anyway. You kicked me when I was down and you pretend all you offered was praise. You didn't praise me much. Not enough to alienate. Him and his cock are important. You really care about him. I want you to leave me alone. You have made a hell of my life. I have tried deleting all of you. You will not be friends with me. I am leaving Toronto. I put a little bit more money into the account. I am saving up to get away from you. I am saving up to get away. I hope to leave by September. I hope to leave really soon. I don't know how long it takes to move far away. We will have to see what will happen then. I just don't want to bump into you. I don't want to see you again. I want some new opportunities which won't be overshadowed by you. I don't want to worry about Monica being in the same room.

7 February 2014 at 16:01

'I really hate the fact that she can say that.'


We don't want you to understand why. They won't want you to understand why they treat people badly. They think it helps them and keeps them on top. They hurt other people and they avoid getting hurt unless somebody gets really angry about it. They get really angry about nothing. Andrea can sense a lot of anger. And some of you will notice that I haven't asked her to block or delete you. You could use listening to Andrea and you aren't a threat to her. They won't want to understand what they were doing. They were being very destructive and this would include some who didn't think they were. This would include people who thought they had been nice.


'I really don't want to think about it. I want it to be that she was nice. I want it to be that subtle ways of being rude are okay. I want it to be okay to look down on somebody. I think it is fine when people think they are better. If they have more money they probably are. If they are better liked they are probably right. I want it to be that way. I want it to be that way. I want. I want. I want. I want.'


It's persistent, but the power is beginning to weak. We didn't say weakened and some of you might think that was a typing error.


'Me! Me. Me.'

The power is beginning to weaken. The power is beginning to get weaker. Andrea has been doing quite a bit better. She had a better day at work over the past couple of days. There wasn't as much energy attacking her. There is only a little bit remaining. Sometimes it seems a little bit necessary, but other times it doesn't.


'I really want it to be that she hates herself. I want! I want! I want! I want. I want. I want.'


It's getting a little less energy. Little bit less energy. We will not make a mistake. We will type out every word. And there is a ball of energy resting on Andrea's back left shoulder blade. There is a ball of heat on her back and she's feeling it open up. She can feel a couple of people's jaws dropping. they don't know exactly what has happened. Most of them can no longer read this page. We have a couple more to go. Andrea can see a couple of faces and I want you to think about why. These 2 people might read this page and they will want to know why Andrea has deleted everybody.


'I really don't want to admit that I did this.'


They won't want to admit what was done. They won't want to admit and it won't get you ahead. Andrea needs to move on at her own. These people are quite hurtful and I know why it hurts. Andrea wanted to feel that she was equal and they made her feel like a lesser person. Andrea wanted to feel that she was respected and somebody grabbed her, pulled her, and told her she was a piece of shit. Andrea wanted to overcome things from her childhood and this is going to be very painful. I will need to tell you more and it's going to be to do with social issues. Andrea had her confidence crushed when she was a child. She had to feel like she was inferior and Andrea had a big change. Andrea had a spiritual experience and wanted to overcome her childhood.


'I really don't want it to be what it was. I don't want it to be that I was a stupid person. I don't want it to be that I was so dumb that I hurt somebody for a shitty reason. I don't want it to be that I was so selfish that I did this. I don't want it to be my fault. I want it to be that Andrea needed to be hurt. I wanted it. I wanted it. I really wanted that. I didn't want it to be a competitive thing. I wanted it to look like I was looking after people. I wanted it to look that way. Not that I was trying to eliminate competition.'

5 February 2014 at 23:13

Andrea has had a bit of a burning pain. She needs you to stop hurting her. This is going to take a little while. We don't need to go back to the very beginning. We know there is a problem. Andrea has needed to assert herself. This is a very difficult thing to do. This isn't as complicated as it seems. It would seem that Andrea hurts a lot and it's about time for her to have a change. We are about to change her life and this will be a better arrangement.


'It really wouldn't have been such a smart idea.'


Andrea is glad that all of this has happened. It taught her something. No longer does she need the art crowd. They have taught her about what she doesn't want to be. You can be a part of an art crowd or you can be an independent artist. Andrea would rather separate herself from the group. It would be what she would want. This isn't a place for her and she needs them to leave. They have left her profile and none of the remaining really worry her. We have told her who to delete. We want to tell her a little bit more. We know Andrea has wanted to know a few things and she will wait patiently for us to tell her. We are going to tell her quite slowly because it isn't something that is going to happen overnight. Andrea will need to know a few things and we are making a major shift. We have accomplished quite a great deal over the past couple of months. Andrea would say that life has greatly improved. There has been one problem and Andrea has figured out how to fix it. She has finally figured out how to fix it. This would be to listen to me and not worry so much.


'I really want it to be that she's a stupid person.'


This is one of those things that hurts people. There will be a lot of judgments and we always know that. This will get better. This energy is finally going away. Some people might seem nicer than they are. Sometimes we need to eliminate people who don't really seem that bad. This would be because they gossip a lot and this is a malicious thing. This isn't seeming as nice as it was. it's seeming like an insincere thing. This is something to truly look out for. Sometimes the most hurtful people are nice to your face. Sometimes you really want to believe that somebody is nice. Andrea has come across that in her life. She would remember when the neighbor started abusing his wife. Andrea really didn't want to believe it was true. She really didn't want to have her illusion shattered. She really didn't want to believe this was happening. She wanted to pretend for a while that it wasn't really a bad thing. She wanted to ignore when she noticed the red flags. He began talking about some of his experiences and some of it began to make Andrea wonder.


'I really hate the fact that you are this intuitive.'


He began to talk about going to anger management. At first it seemed like a very interesting story. At first it seemed like a good story, but Andrea began wondering about a couple of things. His daughter never came to visit him. He said his daughter hadn't been around in years. Andrea would think that would indicate something very negative and it did. It did. It did. It suggested that his daughter didn't really like him. His daughter wasn't wanting to see him. This would be very unusual for a girl in her 20s when the mother had passed away.


'I really don't want to think about it.'


Andrea had noticed a couple of other things. Andrea had noticed that there was a lot of angry energy. She noticed that everybody seemed enraged. It was like everybody was absorbing his anger. It seemed like he would provoke a big argument and people wouldn't even suspect it.


'I really don't want to think about it.'


You will want to think about it for a second because Andrea remembered something. Andrea heard a little voice crying.


'Help!' was what Andrea had heard.


And it was a soft little girl voice. It sounded very frightening and Andrea was very alarmed by it. She heard this voice inside her mind. it's very difficult to explain what these things sound like.


'Hearing voices?'


This isn't usually a good question to ask a person. But, we would joke about it. A lot of occultists hear voices and Andrea wouldn't want somebody on her friends list who is very closed about that. Andrea would rather have people who are pretty open-minded and she has encountered a lot of occult phenomenon in her life. It's a trouble to have this person interfere because it affects what Andrea writes. We have deleted a whole number of people. I have told Andrea who to delete.


'I want it to be that she's not really very intelligent.'

This is how annoying Monica would be. It wouldn't be very worthwhile to be friends with that whole crowd. Andrea doesn't have any problems with the art community itself. We have gone through something and it is over. We have removed all of the destructive people from this list. There really aren't too many people from that community left to remove. None of the ones remaining are going to interfere. Interference is what we are worried about.


'I want it to be that it's a bad person.'


Andrea isn't really that bad and she can't take anymore of their energy. It was okay for a while, but it's time to move onto better things. These people will be too cynical about Andrea to let her comfortably express herself. They want to judge her based on her body. Her background is another thing they will judge. Let's just say that it wouldn't be very empowering to have their consciousness mixed with her's. They aren't going to be happy to be kicked off of this whole list. They will want to assume that Andrea is angry, but she has just cleaned up her entire list.


Anger. And it would be a foreign anger. It isn't Andrea's anger and these people are too busy diagnosing Andrea to allow her to completely express what is going on. That would be one of the big problems. Cutting in on a person's idea before they have completed it. Andrea knows that if you cut in on a sentence right in the middle it can completely have a different meaning. Listening to the first half of a sentence and making an opinion is not a good idea, yet a lot of us do it all the time. Especially if the idea at the beginning triggers a memory.


'I want it to be that Andrea hates us. I want it to be that Andrea hates us. I want it to be.'


We need to talk about a few things that have occurred over the past few year. But, we don't want these people here to judge it. These people aren't very objective about women and they want to think women delude themselves. These people want to think Andrea is deluding herself . They don't understand what's going on. Andrea is unable to move on because she is having a burning perception. This has been an endless source of frustration for Andrea and it would be very insulting. It implies that she is an ugly woman who is naively chasing after a man. Andrea really hates this whole experience, but can't do anything about the weird intrusions. This would involve a lot of physical pain and she does experience extreme pain. I want to talk about this right now because it's not what you think it is. She doesn't have anything wrong with her on a physical level. Andrea has a blockage in her heart chakra and it is to do with her mother. Andrea's mother has hurt her very much and this makes it very hard for Andrea to love herself. Andrea's mother is very hurtful. Andrea would have to feel guilty about it.


'I really wish I hadn't done this.'


Now, we have a woman who is doing almost exactly the same thing Andrea's mother does. Andrea's mother blames Andrea for everything and never gives her credit for anything good she does. Her mother doesn't appreciate anything nice she does. Last Christmas was the prime example. Andrea bought her mother lots of presents and had expected to have a nice Christmas. But, her mother was not very nice to her and did something very upsetting. Her mother started bring up her ex-boyfriend and wanted Andrea to feel really crappy. It was almost like it was punishment for losing weight. her mother needed to burden her with guilt, so she brought up Andrea's ex-boyfriend. A boyfriend Andrea had broken up with 14 years early. This made Andrea realize how much damage her mother has inflicted. It was at this point that Andrea realized how much damage had been done. This woman wanted to make her only daughter feel guilty on Christmas for breaking up with somebody 14 years earlier. She did this at a point when Andrea had a lot of stress in her life and she worded it in a very hurtful way.


'Did Simon ever tell you to get the fuck out?' her mother had asked.


Andrea had answered that he had not and her mother made a little joyful sound. She made a joyful sound to show what a great boyfriend he had been for not putting Andrea out on the streets. Andrea's mother is not a very nice woman. Andrea has had to spend 37 years with this parent. This has been a very painful relationship, but Andrea would like to pretend that it isn't. She would like to pretend that it isn't. This is one of the most depressing things about it. Andrea tries to say nice things about her mother. Andrea tries to give her mother credit. And then what happened on November 30th. Andrea had a complete meltdown because this Monica woman was sending Andrea lots of volatile psychic energy. Andrea has noticed that she will sometimes feel a little bit of relief if she starts talking about her childhood. It will feel like Monica lets go of giving her pain the moment Andrea starts talking about how depressing her childhood was. Andrea really hates sympathy from people and would rather be proud of what she's done. Just keep on crapping on a human being and don't want to give anybody any credit. They don't want to say 'Hey! That was hard!'. They don't want to say 'Hey! You've been through a lot!'. They don't want to just leave you alone. They can't just let you sit and cry. They have to torture you on top of it. And it is often like this. It is often that shitty. People do not want to be nice. Not even when you have a nervous breakdown. If you are a smart woman they will gloat about. People like a sob story better than a happy ending and they'd rather a person suffer their whole life. Well, that would be how it would seem. But, we are going to change all of that. We are going to take away all of the people who are fastening her foot to the stone. That's a Leonard Cohen lyric and it's about being dragged down.

5 February 2014 at 17:59

Andrea is feeling a little bit of pain. She doesn't want to start screaming again. These energies are very upsetting and this screaming has gone on since the spring. Andrea will know it wasn't happening back in Deep Quong. Andrea thinks it might be because she opened up her throat chakra. Bouts of shouting aren't uncommon with kundalini energy. Andrea will like living better once she can get past all of this. This is moving on to a new life. this is moving onto a new life. Andrea is moving onto a new life. She is not wanting to be part of their world. She doesn't really understand why she has this perception. There is somebody who is blocking her. This will not be very easy and it's going to take a little bit of hate. Hate is what her mother gave her. Hate is what her mother gave her. Hatred for Christmas, but it won't be that obvious. It will be a bit painful. Andrea hates it when she looks attractive.


'I really don't want to admit to myself that you would get hurt because you look attractive.'


'I want it to be that you hate people who are attractive.'


'I want it to be that you hate us because you are a loser.'


This is something Andrea is trying to get around. It would be very difficult to have a painful feeling. Aries is not going to like that. This is a woman who really wants to be herself. They do not like to get advice. This is a very willful astrological sign and they would really hate someone who tries to give them advice. But, she can take advice from some people if she thinks they are very intelligent. This is a very tricky balance and it is a very interesting concept. If Aries is a soldier and somebody tries to give them an order they might follow it, but it has to be in rank. This is an idea that we could think of about an Aries. An Aries is a soldier and they are governed by the planet of war. This would be Mars. Mars is a planet which is about aggression, physical activity, and also other things. Aries can be thought of as an intelligent sign for the reason that it governs head. It does govern the head and that is how it works.


'I want it to be that she hates herself.'


'I don't really want to think about it.'


'I want it to be that you hate yourself.'



'This is not really why I am here. I am here because I hate you and I want to find out what you're saying. I want to find out what's going on and I want to be able to read it. I don't really want to be friends with you, but I want to be able to call you a bitch. I want to find out the negative things you are saying. I want to be able to look down on you. I want to be able to judge you. I'm not very happy when you are doing better.'

This is what's freaking Andrea out. Andrea would really like to do better with her life. She really doesn't want to think of this as a psychiatric issue and she would like to start taking it from a different angle. This is why she is doing this. She wants me to help her and she thinks it's easier if I explain. This is one of the most confusing things for a lot of people. They will come here and read this and expect Andrea to be writing it. Andrea is only copying out what I am saying. She's copying out everything word for word. We are doing something that's hard to explain to a lot of people. Andrea is going to trust my guidance. I've told her that it will be done in 52 days. She is going to take my word for this and assume that is going to be difficult for her to complete other tasks until she gets past this.


'I really want it to be that she's stupid. I want it to be that she's not very talented. I want it to be that she won't ever make anything of her life. I want it to be that she can't accomplish anything. I like the idea that she's a loser. I like the idea that she's fat. I don't really want her to go out to the gym. I don't really like the idea that she's making changes. I want to be able to read what she's posting and I'm getting a little bit angry when she does well. I want to see her fail. I want to see her lose. I want it to be that she's a bad person and she can't ever make more of her life because she's stupid. I really want that. I don't want it to be that she's going to move on with her life. I want it to be that she gets hurt. I want it to be that she has a miserable existence. I want it to be that she's really upsetting. I want everybody to really hate her. I really want that. I don't want it to be that she gets to have a life. I don't want her to have a life. I want it to be that she hates herself. I want her to stay home and eat chips. I want her to get really plump. I want her to lose. I want her to lose. I want her to lose.'


That's why Andrea is having so many problems. Andrea has a number of people who are working against her and it's causing a burning pain in her heart. Andrea doesn't know how to get around this and it's inhibiting everything she does. She can sit here and have a lot of energy attacking her. She might feel better if she does something unflattering and then she will be attacked by the other camp. This is a horrible situation in and Andrea understands what she wants. Andrea wants to be doing yoga and getting to the work she has outlined for herself in her book.


'I want it to be that she doesn't really do anything. I want it to be that she just sits around. I want it to be that she hates herself. I want it to be that she likes eating. I really want it to be that she's lazy. I like the idea that she can't get a date. I really don't like the idea that men harass her. I want it to be that she's a big loser. I don't want it to be that she's a nice girl. I want it to be that she's a bad person. I want it to be that she was harassing Andrew. I want it to be that she was this fat girl who was chasing after Andrew. I want it to be that she wasn't good enough. I want it to be that he didn't really like her. I want it to be that she's a big shit. I want her to be a big piece of crap who nobody likes. An ugly person who doesn't have any social skills. Somebody who we didn't want to be bothered with. I want her to be a big loser. I don't want her to move on with her life.'


Do you understand how much pain you've caused?


'I don't want to admit that it's painful. I want to think that she's a stupid person. I want to be able to put her down. I want it to be that she eats all the time. I want it to be that she's addicted to junk food. I want it to be that she doesn't do anything to help herself. I want it to be that she's a big loser. I want it to be that she could never take care of herself. I want that. I don't want her to be able to look after herself. I don't want her to be able to take care of herself. I don't want it to be that she could keep her apartment clean. I don't want it to be that she knows how to look after herself. I want it to be that she's a big loser. I want it to be that she doesn't deserve anything. I want it to be that she doesn't need anything. I want it to be that she doesn't need a family. I want it to be that she doesn't need a life. I want! I want! I want! Me! Me! Me!'


A lot of people don't really want their daughters to do very well.


'I like the idea that she doesn't need love.'


This is how mean her mother is. Mother hates daughter. Daughter has nothing. Daughter tries very hard. Daughter tries very, very, very hard. Love is not happy. Mommy knocks. Knock down. Knock down. Knock down. Knock down. Knock down. Knock down. And if you do it about 50 times it will really begin to get to a person. If you hurt your daughter that many times she will kill herself. This is one thing that people don't understand. Verbal abuse causes suicidal behavior. Any questions? Do you want to abuse people? Do you want to abuse people? Do you want to knock Andrea down? Do you want to kill Andrea? Do you want to kill her? Do you want to make sure she can't have children? Do you want to make sure she can't have a little bit of a love life? Do you want to make sure she doesn't feel lovable? Do you want to think you are a very nice mom? Do you want to think you did a good job because your daughter hates living? Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. Killing your daughter. your daughter has killed herself. That's for Christmas. See, this is how bad it is. this is how bad.


'I really don't want it to be that. I don't want it to be that Andrea hates her mother for killing her.'


Killing her. This would be killing a person. You want to kill your daughter. You want to kill your daughter. You want to kill your daughter. you want to kill your daughter. She should never have been born. She should have been given up for adoption. She should have been given up for adoption. She should have been given away. Love is not like this. This is very hurting. There is a lot of pain right now. You type and type and type. You want to think you're smart because of all the hurtful things you did. You made sure your daughter couldn't have a life. You did this through verbal abuse. You hurt your daughter very much. You didn't want her to make very many friends. You made her feel low self-confidence. You told her none of the kids would like her. You made her feel unlikable. you made her feel like a piece of shit. She didn't have a very happy childhood, but you want her to pretend that she did. You slapped her across the face for putting a knife up against her wrist. You didn't really love her. She was kind of like a plaything and you never bothered talking to her. You never understood her. You didn't really listen to her. You didn't bother listening to her because there was too much going on on television. You didn't take the time to understand her and you didn't take the time to let her have a life.


'I thought it was a good time.'

You never went through any of that. You hurt your daughter for a long time and you held onto her when she was a teenager. You tried to suffocate her out of her teens. Well, it might not have been that bad.


'I really hate the fact that she lived that way.'

You don't want to admit that Andrea needs you to leave. Nobody will kick you out of Facebook, but you have made sure that Andrea can't come out to The Ossington. This was a very sabotaging thing.


'I don't really want to admit that it was. i don't want to think about what your life might have been if i had just never been part of it.'


Andrea really wants you to leave her page.


'I want it to be that I can read it.'


We are going to try again to go through the entire friends list and see if there is anything we can find. Andrea deleted a few people, but she will not feel reassured yet. this energy keeps holding on and it's not a very positive feeling


'I really want it to be that I can look at this.'


It's time for you to stop looking at this profile. We are going to look for you and the initials are going to be 'I' & 'N'. In. Like the word In. We are going to find you and Andrea will do it tonight. this will take a little bit of time and it won't be very easy. Andrea will not understand this, but you are hiding in the friends list. You are hiding in the friends list and we can't merely just search for you. We have to go through the entire list and you will be down near the very bottom.


'I want it to be that she won't find it. I want it to be that it can stay there. I want it to be that she won't find it.'


It's about to be found.


'Okay. I guess it's done.'


And you can both move on with your lives. All the time Andrea hates this energy and is distracted by it is time that you are wasting.

5 February 2014 at 12:31

Andrea is trying to make it better, but the angry energy is returning again. It's a foreign feeling of anger which is coming from someplace else. Andrea doesn't want this person on her profile and we have been going through the entire list. We want everybody off who is hurtful on a psychic consciousness. Today Andrea is having the pain again and she really doesn't want it to go on. Her body is being flooded with a foreign anger and this has been going on for quite some time.


'I really want it to be that she's angry.'


Andrea wants to enjoy her life. This isn't a time to be hateful. Monica doesn't understand how much of a problem she is. You want it to be that you can look at her Facebook and gossip with all of your friends. You don't understand how stupid you are and everything you are getting in the way of. Andrea would really like a healthy lifestyle and she's not really interested in getting to know you. These things are going to go on now. This doesn't need to be this way. Andrea has found that you have helped her define a few of her goals. She doesn't want to be part of this group and she wants you to stop thinking about her.


'I want it to be that it's a bad person. I want it to be that she's not very good. I want to make sure that I can completely destroy her. I want to! I want to!'


This is beginning to get annoying once again. You want it to be that Andrea hates herself and Andrea doesn't know why she has to feel this pain. There is nothing to really say to any of you and today is a different day. Today is a different day and it will be over very soon. Some thing will forever be remembered and these people want to hold Andrea to things from the past. They want to use past feelings to say she's obsessed and this is very hurtful for somebody with a massively overweight mother. Andrea doesn't really want to have this weigh her whole life down. She doesn't really want to be judged by her mother's weight and she doesn't want to have you hold her back as well. It's okay to just move on and this was a big, bad time. It was supposed to be something a little bit different and it won't be that at all. Andrea doesn't want to be judged by her mother's weight and she wants to be able to have her own life. She doesn't want to keep hurting her mother by talking about how she doesn't want to be a fat woman. And this is going to upset her mother and her mother is going to think she's shallow because she doesn't want to be fat. That's kind of how it is and she doesn't need you to crap all over her life.


'I want it to be this way.'


Andrea felt very good about herself as she began to live her life. She did really see what had happened as something that was coming. Nobody thinks their boyfriend is going to start being threatening. There would be a big problem with that. A lot of people can't deal with the idea of domestic violence. Some people might get very afraid if their boyfriend threatened.


'I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry.'


These things shouldn't really ruin a person's life. Dumping Alvaro was supposed to make life better. It was supposed to be the beginning of a happy time. Andrea really wanted to move on and have a family. She didn't really understand what was going on with her nervous system. She didn't think she'd have to go back to Brockville and deal with her mom having bowel cancer. She thought she had more of a chance of having a family because she didn't have a weight problem. It's difficult to deal with all of you sabotaging the remainder of her life. Labeling her and making her feel like less of a human being. Andrea will not want to be friends with you. You want to think you were helpful, but now she is going to be looking for real help. You want to think you were helpful to everybody. You weren't very nice and that's what happened.


'I want to really hurt her.'


The fucked up thing is that Andrea can't get past you. There is so much energy inside her body that she can't take it and she's trying to type faster to get it out. She doesn't want the hurt resting on her heart. She doesn't want to start screaming and alarm the neighbors again. She feels a big ball of anger in her chest. Like somebody she knows is angry at her. She has been crying a little bit because on her heart really hurts. Andrea is upset because all of her life has been ruined by this. Selfish people with anger. Alvaro would be one of them. There is no way to deal with feeling other people's emotions. Andrea doesn't understand why there is so much anger directed at her. Not really understanding why Alvaro would be angry. There wasn't much to really be angry about. There was only a problem with Andrea's nerves which made it hard for her to pursue a full-time job. It's not easy if you feel like you are picking up on everybody's emotions and the workplace wasn't very healthy.


'I want it to be that it's funny when I'm rude to her.'


It's really difficult for her to manage all of the anger that is coming through her body. There are a lot of people who would think it is repressed anger. We are going to talk about that quite a lot today and why it is upsetting. Andrea feels foreign anger in her chest which is not related to anything that is occurring. This feels like a psychic perception and it is very overwhelming. Andrea doesn't know how to get rid of this energy. This profile was one way to try. These things are not very helpful and people sometimes hate people for no reason. Sometimes you might hate a person for a reason that's not really very profound. You might hate somebody because their voice is irritating to you. You might hate somebody because they look a little bit unattractive to you. You might hate the way they carry their body. You might take a couple of personality flaws and blow them out of proportion. This isn't really a good way to operate and hate probably isn't a good way to describe a feeling.


'I want it to be that you're the hateful human being.'


This was tossed at Andrea a lot when she broke up with her boyfriend. She was labeled as a hateful person. This is what they did to smear her. It was because she became a Satanist and this she did because she'd always been a nice girl. She felt like people had walked allover and she needed some way to cope with that. She wanted to feel that she was powerful. She wanted to feel that she had saved herself and it was a very upsetting time. It still is very upsetting and people aren't very sympathetic.


'I want it to be that women don't need to be strong.'


You will never understand why she is saying these things. People who were bullied as children might need to feel that people will stay away from them. This is a bit of a pattern. Andrea didn't have any malicious intentions. She feels pretty crappy about the whole thing. She really thought he might have been a soul mate and that it was a true love thing. Instead people exposed her psychiatric problems and labeled her a stalker. She had had the divination about taking up writing to meet her future husband and she thought she was going to be composing a romantic. She thought this would be something they could have forever. Something that they could remember in many years. She wanted to pursue it in an honest manner and she thought it was going to be a very nice thing. She didn't how horrible felt about her. She can see the way that Monica and all those people dress. She knows she doesn't have a cute little haircut and she knows she's not as pretty as most of those girls. Now she would like to move on with her life and have a bit of time for herself. She wants you to leave her alone and let her rest.


'I don't want to admit that I've ruined your life.'


When you're bullied as a child you blame yourself. You think you've been a weak little kid. That your shyness is why you got beat up. You want to make sure it never, ever happens again. You want to make sure each threat is taken very seriously. Anything to not look weak. Anything to not look weak. Anything to look strong. Anything to just look strong. Stop bothering me right now. Stop bothering me and go away.


'I want you to die.'

You will kill yourself. This is the end. There are people who hate Andrea and it will fuck her up. Let her go and let her go.


'I really want to be able to hurt her.'


This is upsetting and Andrea is drifting over into violent ideas and upsettingly thinking about murder victims. How horrible it would be to go through that. How negative these sorts of things are. Serial killers are the most extreme form of violence for absolutely no reason. Not much of a very logical reason. They don't really need to kill a person. These people don't need to hurt other people. Yet, they still want to make other people feel bad. It can't just be left as a rejection and I understand what it would be like to have somebody you dislike talking to your brother.


'I wanted to be able to hurt her.'


You really hurt people because you're selfish. You really don't want to imagine how hateful you are. You don't want to understand how stupid this was. You don't want to understand how many nerves you stepped on.


'I really want it to be that you hate yourself.'

So does Andrea's mother. Depression is easier to take than a smile from Andrea's mother. This isn't a parent who is ever congratulating her for a good thing. Her mother doesn't really take too much interest and it is a bit of a downer. It's hard to figure out a way to get over the emotional issues a parent can cause. There is no escape and you can't exactly just grow a new family. There has to be a way to cope with how much pain causes. There has to be a way to deal with your mother insulting you most of the time when you call. This is one of those stress things that builds up. This is a very depressing thing when you have a parent who wants to hurt your feelings every time you talk to them. A parent who doesn't want to admit that you need to live your own life. This would be a very difficult parent to have. It's also difficult when the world is also cold. Lots of people might seem like very nice people.


'I want it to be that my family is important to me.'


Sometimes it is a very painful life and the only friends we can make are people who don't have our best interests at heart. Andrea is thinking that if she pursues holistic things she might have a bit of a better chance of meeting nice people. You have to admit that people who worship a God like Krishna are probably going to be nicer people. If people don't like the idea of slaughtering cows they are going to be nicer. It might go against Thelema in some ways, but they believe in things like humility and kindness. They believe in not giving into your desires and this makes them easier to spend time around. These people aren't always looking for sex, but are trying to control their passions. These people are easier to take than most people in other communities. Andrea is trying to shift her life over to people like that and she's not interested in being friends with people in that crowd.


'I want it to be that we could be friends. I want it to be that you really like us and you can't hang out with us because you are not good enough.'


Andrea doesn't really like this idea. Andrea really dislikes being stuck with these people in her consciousness and is trying to shift her activities over to something else. She doesn't want people around to reinforce the idea that she loves Andrew. She is willing to look like a shit for him. Andrew would not be a healthy boyfriend and lots of pretty girls would enjoy dating him.


'I really want it to be that you need to be shat on.'


Andrea really didn't understand how shallow he might have been. She was caught up on this idea of it being something for real and she wanted to believe it. She wanted to believe that these little intuitions were correct and it didn't help her very much. But, there must be some reason for it to persist. Andrea really wants to find a way to move on with her life.


'I want it to be that she hates herself.' 


She really is trying her best. She's determined that she can do something besides telemarketing and she's begun to build up some skills which don't involve sales. You don't really take the idea and just leave her alone with her life. You don't want it to be that she'll move on. You want it to be some fucked up girl who you needed to treat badly for a good reason.