9 April 2014 at 13:38

It is a painful feeling to have you hurt inside. I can't get rid of you because I have your energy. I want to get you out of my life. I want you to be out of my way. It makes a difficult life for me when you go around saying these things. I feel ill at ease would be what people think. I actually think you are a threat to me because you pulled me away. You don't seem very sane. I know what Andrew is like. I know how attractive he is. He's kind of like a great big mortgage. That's how I am beginning to see this situation. Andrew is the big mortgage you took on to afford a massive house which would impress your friends. You don't know where to find the money. You will act desperately. You are robbing Peter to pay Paul. That is what I mean. You are sacrificing everything for something that shouldn't be. You don't need to pay your way into people's lives. You don't understand how it seems. You want to feel like you are part of the crowd. You act in a desperate way to ensure your place. That is the game you play. You can't really afford their lifestyle. You want to fit right in. You want to fit right in. You offer to make him dinner. You want to give him your pay cheque just so he will be around. Do you think about it and how silly it might seem?

You are waiting for your pay cheque to come at the end of the week. This suggests you have no money. It suggests that you are going to cook an elaborate meal. This for a guy who has a young girlfriend. This for a guy with a very womanizing reputation. It does come across as something stupid, but many men would probably laud. Andrea can hear them laughing about how he has all these women eating out of his hand. Monica will trot around with him everywhere he goes. He got a little young girlfriend. He's got all these women after him. Some of them throw temper tantrums. Some of them yank women.

This doesn't come off as classy. It comes across as something else. Women fighting against women instead of doing something with their lives. Women being competitive over a womanizing guy. Do you understand how stupid this looks? I practically want to die. I don't enjoy being held to this. It makes an awful mess of my life. I have lost interest in men after all of this. My mother has always talked negatively. You have gone and proved her right. That's what she will think when she reads the writing. You make all men look shitty. You make girls look even worse. You turn the art community into a competitive place which doesn't care about social issues. This gets kind of depressing. You all seem to drink too much. You don't have any values that are worth sacrificing anything for. You won't sacrifice for your values. You won't make a stand against that. You won't think about how it reflects on you. You'd rather criticize me for getting fat. I find it a little ironic that Lynda would have a bullying girl at her birthday party. That is what I call lip service to feminism.

Never sticking your neck out to say something wasn't right. probably blaming the victim for being stupid enough to open the messages. You people are very annoying. You are conventional too. You want to rob me blind of everything I could have had. You've limited me completely. You've made it harder to get a job. You've bombarded me with negative ideas which really brought me down. You have hurt me financially. You have hurt me in anyway. You kicked me when I was down and you pretend all you offered was praise. You didn't praise me much. Not enough to alienate. Him and his cock are important. You really care about him. I want you to leave me alone. You have made a hell of my life. I have tried deleting all of you. You will not be friends with me. I am leaving Toronto. I put a little bit more money into the account. I am saving up to get away from you. I am saving up to get away. I hope to leave by September. I hope to leave really soon. I don't know how long it takes to move far away. We will have to see what will happen then. I just don't want to bump into you. I don't want to see you again. I want some new opportunities which won't be overshadowed by you. I don't want to worry about Monica being in the same room.